I'm in Scotland, all the talk in the news is about the referendum; it's like being at your mate's house while he argues with his wife, both sides are arguing some utter shit but you don't want to step in with your logical opinion or you'll get your head bitten off by both of them. It's especially awkward because your mate's wife is arguing about the fact she doesn't want him hanging out with you any more, and she kind of has a point but her aggressive temperament and inability to rationalise is making her sound like a maniac.
A bridesmaid at a Durham wedding upstaged the bride yesterday by having a baby at the ceremony; basically she realised there was free booze at the party and you can't drink when you're pregnant, so she got it out of the way. Proper Geordie lass!
It was transfer deadline day yesterday; but as I mentioned, I'm in Scotland, there isn't much movement up here, you'll hardly get a player moving from Aberdeen to Falkirk otherwise he'll have himself a daily 3 hour commute for his milk round.
X-Factor is back on TV!!!!!!! ....or for an alternative live experience why don't you drive to your nearest special needs school and laugh patronisingly through the fence at the poor children with learning difficulties until you feel better about your own existence?
Diego Maradona met the pope yesterday as fans flocked to see them; I wonder why Maradona was at The Vatican? Maybe he got the memo that it's the place men go who put their hand where it shouldn't be.
A man was found dead in a DIY shop last night in Chesterfield; I bet it was suicide!
And Finally... Naked photo's have been leaked of celebrities who have had their phones hacked and their privacy compromised, now I'm not saying I'm famous but I opened my twitter last night to discover this: