People are encouraged
to have sex more as a way to work out; Not that 70 seconds of grunting will get you into shape, just nothing burns calories like running around after a toddler for 5 years.
 |
| How to use duck-tape on a split condom |
David Cameron is
under pressure to explain why 6 terror suspects will soon be free to roam the
UK; It’s probably a lot to do with the word “suspect” and a little thing
called human rights. You can’t just go around punishing people for being
suspicious. I would get thrown out of every supermarket I’ve ever walked in.
However, if we did punish people for being suspicious we
would have caught Savile way before he groped his way though a hospice. A
justice system based on assumptions might be the way forward, right, lets lock
up everyone that sports a moustache outside the month of November.
A barman put Tony
Blair under citizen’s arrest for war crimes he committed in Iraq; What a
legend. I forgot about citizen’s arrest, I’ve just woke up my flat-mate and
arrested him on “suspicion” of being a twat.
UKIP leader Nigel
Farage has sparked uproar by suggesting Men are more valuable to firms than
Mothers; now I’m the first one to suggest the gelding of anyone UKIP, I’d
even wield the knife to see the halt of their DNA… However, no matter how much
of a cheb-end you are, you shouldn’t cause uproar for spitting the truth. Of
course pregnant women deserve all the support they get from their employer, but
it’s not controversial to suggest the man who doesn’t get pregnant has an
advantage on being more productive for the company. Now please don’t get
hormonal, I’m just stating the obvious.
A Nana delivered her
own grandchild in the back of a car in Lincolnshire; while dropping her
daughter off at work
The father of Prince
Harry’s girlfriend Cressida Bonas, has been found dead in a suspected suicide;
the only thing that leads them to suspect it's a suicide is that his daughter
was fucking a ginger bloke.
Four women were
gassed to death by a batch of rotting potatoes in a barn; I guess they just
had their chips.
No comments:
Post a Comment