Tuesday, 8 November 2011

News for Dummies 8/11

Sorry I've missed a couple days but while I'm on tour this will happen depending on the demand of the day and the hang-over....

A man is facing jail time for murdering a known paedophile, Dr. Conrad Murray is found guilty for Michael Jacksons death; This is a breakthrough case in American history, never has the justice system followed up so thoroughly on a black on black crime.

His fans celebrated knowing their hero will be looking up at them from Hell smiling and touching his crotch.

In jail forever.... for ever, ever??

Boxing legend Smoking Joe Frazier dies aged 67; his fate may not have come so early if he'd been known as Nicotine Patch Joe Frazier.

An anorexic mum aged 26, wears her 7 year old daughters dresses; she should be very careful, the last person who got into a 7 year olds dress got murdered by Conrad Murray

Friends of the Rooney’s think Coleen may be pregnant again as she hasn't touched a drop of alcohol in ages; This is worrying for Wayne, not that he doesn't want another kid, but if his wife doesn’t drink she will almost certainly stop being attracted to him.

There is outrage as John Terry could be called up for the England friendly against Spain while he is caught up in a race row;  he allegedly responded with the following "My conscience is clean, spick and span in fact!!" .... he just can't help himself. Team mates say he should pull out of the squad, they also tell Rooney he should pull out of his wife.

Movie producers are making a Hollywood feature length film of children’s book Where's Wally; there has been a growing demand to find the cult character behind the Statue of Liberty and the Eifel Tower, this comes after the nation was gripped on finding Osama Bin Laden, who it turned out was behind the twin towers.
There has been a recent twist in the trial against Conrad Murray; Scooby Doo ran into the court room and removed the Dr's mask to reveal it was actually John Terry

A third of single girls use their male friends for sex; the men in question are said to be devastated, befriending these girls on trust as some-one they can play football with in the park, lend money off and join their team on Call of Duty... just to be treated like a piece of meat!! Give me a break, this statistic just tells me 2 in 3 single girls don't have male friends!!

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