Wednesday, 9 November 2011

News for Dummies 9/11

It's the real 9/11 I can't believe it's been over 10 years to this day since... Afroman "Because I got High" was number one in the charts. Let's have a minutes silence shall we.

Fifa have banned the England football team from wearing strips with the Poppy sewn into them as a tribute to our soldiers; I find this incredibly unfair considering they are still letting the French team keep the Chicken.

X-Factor "star" (I use the term star lightly) Frankie Cocozza gets kicked off the show for having a coke fuelled sex session; what are you doing having that much fun Frankie??? Who do you think you are using mind altering narcotics to enhance your OWN consciousness then following the force of mother-nature to then have SEX with chicks!! We don't want people having fun on our TV while we sit in our pyjama's drinking cocoa being told what to watch and how to think!! You know what we should do, brain wash the nation by villainizing him!

Look….The minute Frankie Cocozza took a line of coke off a sluts tit's is the moment I had any respect for a someone on X-factor. Fuck social conditioning!!

Joey Barton has been slammed by a disability charity for his calling The Only Way Is Essex "stars" (I use the term stars sarcastically) Retards; The charity need to understand he used the word "Retard" to dehumanise a group of people with special needs. It wasn't a dig at the people supported by their cause.

Watchdogs have revealed over 200 nurses in the UK are employed without their qualifications; So if you're reading this blog from a hospital bed with a catheter up your nose, you might want to start asking to see CV's.

Ex Man City star Garry Flitcroft has been asked by St Anne’s Church to remove a bench he had installed as a memorial to his dad;  call in a favour Garry, sit Man City’s Carlos Tevez on said bench and there'll be nothing St Anne’s can do to get him off it.

A woman died in hospital after she was wrongly given a "Do Not Resuscitate" tag;  The tag that was meant to go on her bed was given to a lucky old man who was in for his ingrown toe-nails but spent 4 hours receiving the kiss of life from unqualified nurses.

A smoke alarm started a house fire as it burst into flames in a family home in Yorkshire;  next we'll be hearing about condoms that get people pregnant, guard dogs that burgle your house and church workers that molest your children!!

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