Tuesday, 17 January 2012

News for Dummies 17/1/12

A senior officer left a dossier containing detailed police tactics for the Olympics on a train; the document contained Pizza menu's, the opening hours of the bookies a list of excuses to use when turning up late to the scene of a crime.

Hmmm the Sun have a picture of Kim Kardashian on the front page with the headline "Kim Gong Thrill" but after scouring their pages I can find no story linking the evil dictator with the evil dick taker.  However I did just do a quick google search on her and found a good video of her cunt.

A Labour MP has been forced to resign after posting a youtube video likening SNP leader Alex Salmond to Hitler; That's not fair to say, Hitler notoriously had one ball and Alex Salmond's face looks like a rather packed scrotum.

A 19 year old survivor of the capsized cruise liner Costa Concordia tells his "Horror" story as he had to swim 400 Yards to safety; he must have been exhausted thats like, what? A Fifth of a mile?? FFS when I worked at Concordia Leisure Centre old biddies used to swim further than that during lunchtime lanes. The only "Horror" story was from the poor guy swimming behind them with goggles on.

The national health service have announced Parkinson's disease is on the rise and is expected to be up 30% by 2020; I'm not sure this is what David Cameron meant when he suggested a shake up in the NHS.

David Cameron has vowed to kick racism out of football and has called for more top Black and Ethnic minority players and coaches....... Mr Prime minister you've missed the point, we want top players REGARDLESS of ethnicity, employing players simply because they are of a minority would fuel racism. Ability should take precedence over appearance or background in any job without having to meet patronising quotas that are a cause of segregation. (See police, fire brigade, local government...)

A Karate instructor has been arrested over a string of sex offences; The black belt is said to be on his second Dan..... his third Ryan and has also had a Jack and a Harry.

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