Monday, 23 January 2012

News for Dummies 23/1/12

An armed robber who was found hanged in prison had wreaths at his funeral in the design of cash points and post-office signs from his friends and family; They should have really made a floral display of his jail cell if they wanted to pay tribute to the places he was found hanging about.

1 in 4 kids aged 12 can't add up two simple amounts of money without a calculator; ironically it's these kids that grow up to work at McDonald's

Jordan tweeted an uncharacteristically intellectual message about economics yesterday then followed the tweet with a picture of herself holding a snickers and writing "you're not you when you're hungry;" I think it's safe to say she filled a hole after she ate it then.

Wars, religious violence and hooliganism in sport are sparked from the male sex drive according to research; I'm just impressed that "Rape" didn't make that list

......oh hold on it did, religious violence!

Many teenage girls in the US believe you can't get pregnant the first time they have sex; Really, did they think their uncle Earl wore a condom just to keep the blood of his dick.....TOOO FFAAARRR!!!

It's the Chinese new year today and is officially the year of the Dragon; which is funny because today is also the day the EU put an oil embargo on Iran, I'll not get into the politics but this will probably result in China raining fire out of the sky onto the rest of the world.

A robber was shot dead by a customer as he tried to rob a restaurant; Florists are busy preparing the "Soup of the Day" and "Hunters Chicken" Wreaths for his funeral service.

The blog got DARK today..... but look how cute it ended!!!

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