20/9

WOOPS!!! LOLOLOL! I totes forgot to do Kais blog the past few days but I have totally legitimate excuses. On Thursday/Friday I was drinking/recovering from a hangover from my 21st birthday party so unless you wanted 8 jokes that were like “UGHHH MY STOMACH FML!” you really didn’t miss out. Loldemort.
Then yesterday I was ill with food poisoning as were my little brothers, so unless you wanted 8 jokes that were like “UGHHH MY STOMACH FML!” you really didn’t miss out. Lolcano.
 But, let’s get back to this. I apologise for not doing it. It’s kind of a half arsed apology, Kais on a beach getting a tan and I’m in Fife trying not to sound to cruel about gypsies.

Some angry fucking gypsies have won a high court battle to be allowed to stay at their illegal camp, where they shouldn’t be, or ever have been because it violates so many laws, for an extra few days as police were afraid that it would spark riots. But if you’ve seen “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding” you’ll know that anything can start a Gypsy riot. Like alcohol, washing or using words with more than 2 syllables. Now, I don’t know what your opinion on Gypsies is, and quite frankly I couldn’t give a chocolate covered fuck, because I don’t like them because of their attitude in todays paper and the way they’ve acted. If you need any more reasons to not like these law-breaking violent twats, here are some quotes from them.
“If they do evict us, the people around here better lock their doors at night.”
“I’ve chained myself to a gate around my neck so if anyone tries to open it, I will die” (note - a chain tied to a fence around someones neck is also considered “bling” in Shetland)
“I hope they try to evict us, I can’t wait to stab a cop.”
FUCK THEM, I’d have more sympathy for a rapist getting bummed in prison.

Pippa Middleton was at a fashion show and apparently stole the show. Winona Ryder is also famous for going to fashion shows and stealing the fashion shows… Literally.

People are going mental because a woman with mental health issues sang on the X Factor at the weekend and was really bad. These people have obviously not seen any previous episode of the X Factor.

A court has heard that one of the tasers fired a Raoul Moat was probably “very painful”. Though I doubt as painful as blowing your own head of with a fucking shotgun.

The head of the Libyan National Transitional Council, Mustafa Jalil has asked America to help rebuild Libya, the Americans are confused as they were pretty sure he died in the Lion King.

NOW OVER TO DANIEL FOR THE SPORT

THANKS DANIEL!

In sport today a bunch of teams are playing in the Carling Cup. Arsenal will be playing against Shrewsbury where I wouldn’t be surprise if there was a surprising result. That Arsenal win.

Fernando Torres might miss tomorrows game against Fulham. He’s been chosen, but he misses a lot.

NOW OVER TO DANIEL WITH THE WEATHER

THANKS DAN!

I don’t know who reads this blog or where you’re from, so let’s just go for rain…

Well, it’s been a pleasure. I think I’ll be back tomorrow at some point with more angry news. ENJOY