Friday, 12 August 2011

News for Dummies 12/8

Paolo Nutini cuts his own hair; and this made the news this morning, is this really what I have to work with today?? Next I'll be reading the queen picks her own nose and Jim Davidson writes his own jokes!

Gareth Gates has went from chart topper to singing on cruise ships; It's the only place he can get away with singing Bop-bop-bop bop-bop-a-ram & la-la-la-la-la-Bamba!!

One in five Scots want gay teachers barred from primary schools; but who do they expect to play the piano in assembly?? It was always a lesbian leading the way on "Sing Hosanna"

Cops in Rome had to dress as gladiators for a sting operation to catch con men dressing as centurions and charging people for photo's; One cop arrived dressed as Wolf and hit a conman with his pugil stick but it was before John Anderson blew his second whistle so he was suspended.

Fire-fighters in Glasgow had to attend a fire at their own station; this would be like me doing a gig in my own living room or even Ryan Giggs having sex with his own wife!

Student Rhiannon Brooksbank-Jones had a tongue operation to make it longer so she could speak better Korean as she plans to move there after university; It's funny that Koreans are renowned for eating cat meat, oh the irony that she had her tongue lengthened so she can eat pussy!! I wonder if she's taking her piano!?

Anxious teens waited for their exam results which didn't arrive because a postman didn't want to work in the rain; judging by my time up here Scottish students may NEVER EVER get to see their qualifications!! That would also explain the queue at the job centre.

A Fife school girl went to the hairdressers at the age of 14 for the first time too trim her 3ft locks; She contacted the Guinness book of records but apparently she has a decade to catch up on Paolo Nutini who they suspect has been cheating! 

To keep with the trend of todays news and send you into your weekend here is a compilation of shit haircuts:

To See that final haircut Live catch him on tour from October by clicking: Basin-Cut

In Edinburgh during August?? Come and say HELLO <<<click to find out how!

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