Monday, 22 August 2011

News for Dummies 22/8

Statistics show that half of Brits accidentally drive on the wrong side of the road when abroad; now get this, half of Brits are Women!! Coincidence?

A football match was abandoned in Mexico after a gunman opened fire outside of the stadium; there won't be a rematch as such they will decide the result with a shoot-out.

Villagers in the New Forest blamed kids for turning road signs the wrong way but it turned out to be cows and ponies; Goats get the blame for everything, they're like the Jew's pf the animal kingdom.

I google imaged "Jew Goat" hoping I would find a goat with curly side-boards like this....

you're kidding!!

But instead I found this.... 
which is naughty!!

The King and Queen of Sweden were asked to leave a restaurant because there wasn't enough tables; which is ironic because it was the one at the end of Ikea and they had to walk past hundreds of tables to get there.

A Scunthorpe man was taken to hospital after a 1 ton bale of straw fell on him; His mates now call him "Camel"  (because it was the straw that broke his back dummies)

A record 12.6m people tuned into X-factor this weekend; the other 80% of the UK population just pressed a button on their remote, who the fuck is still tuning their telly in 2011??

Half of us can't point on a map where we last went on Holiday and a fifth of us get the Continent wrong; hmmmm half of us are women and two fifths of those women don't have a husband to give them clues! Coincidence??

Half of you found that joke misogynistic the other two thirds of you are having trouble with fractions, but it's o.k. you people don't know what misogynistic means so we're good!!

I'm just playing ladies you know I love you x

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