Monday, 8 August 2011

News for Dummies 8/8

A Scottish squaddie has been accused of cutting off the fingers of dead Taliban soldiers; There have been calls for the soldier who cut off the extremities of the extremists to be extremely extradited! Ironically Extradited means HANDed over! Personally I think this would be excessive (out of hand) and we should just give them the finger!?

US faces new blow on credit; apparently Obama didn't turn his data roaming off when he visited Ireland!

Children as young as 7 join in on the looting during the riots in Tottenham; They put a stickle brick through the window of toys'R'us and all charged inside for a nap!

Turns out the local police chief was on holiday while the riots took place; however when he returned to the riot torn district of London he couldn't notice any difference!

An ingredient in Irn-Bru could hold the cure to Cancer; the only thing is no fucker knows what the hell is in Irn-Bru!

Simon Cowell tells how he "admires" Nicole Schitsinger for being Selfish and Ruthless; he also really respects her for hardly wearing any clothes and dancing like a slut.

A woman will command a warship for the first time in the Navy's 500 year history; but even with the vast expanse of the ocean I bet if she ever has to reverse it she'll still somehow manage to hit a garage door!

A man who got dragged 40 yards by a polar bear pumped 5 shotgun shells into it's face; Top of the food-chain bitch!! 

Here are some more failed attempts to reach the top of the food chain by some of natures greatest predators:

Haven't seen enough funny shit from me today? Then Click Here for more!!

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