News for Dummies 22/7

5 people in as many weeks have died in the "Saline Killings" in a Stockport hospital, all victims were either in their 80's or terminally ill.... are people not just, errm, dying?? 3 People have died in the old folks home over the road this year, no-one seems to be running over to check if someones spiked their porridge like we've a mystery to solve!!

According to school friends the girl suspected of causing the deaths was a "swot" at school and "wouldn't hurt a fly"

Lady Gaga has announced she smokes marijuana I think we worked that out when you wore a dress made out of meat, classic case of the munchies right there.

Bankrupt Greece are urged to mortgage The Acropolis; It will probably end up being a TigerTiger and Zues will be in the gents handing out after shave and lollipops to raise a couple extra quid.

N-Dubz's Dappy had a row with Talusa because of Ny and Kaye no one was happy in the scrappy coz Dappy used KY on Ny and took Kaye to NY (to-lose-her I think) Talusa squared up to Ny while Dappy and Kaye worked out the square route of Pi....True story, it's all very confusing!   

Planet of the Apes could become reality after Stem cell research on primates could humanize them according to scientists; It is said thy may already walk among us:

Singer or Monkey?

Footballer or Monkey?

My mate Rob or Monkey?

Look closely at Lacey, 18, from Bedford in the Sun; she has a hairy right boob.

Muslims could have up to 4 wives under new laws; well the dishes would never build up and your dick would stay sucked but I aint giving up bacon Mcmuffin's for shit!!

34'000 Police jobs could go but there are fears this could result in crime waves; Well crime will remain the same but they were never reported when it was from the inside, all those unemployed cops will be getting nicked for crimes they were doing all along. Someone spell corruption for me again.

Oh Lady Gaga is in the news again, this time saying she inherited her raunchy behaviour from her DAD; I don't think that's the only thing you inherited from him? His cock perhaps??

It's the earliest the blog has ever been put up so remember to share it on facebook and tweet it to keep it live otherwise it will drop off peoples news feed before they even get online.... now you wouldn't deprive them would you??

oh you would! well have a nice day.