News for Dummies 1/7

A big thank you to Daniel Sloss who peeled himself away from World of Warcraft and wanking over the Kay's catalogue to brake 2 world records for the mass inclusion of both "LOL" and "Yay" in a blog entry. I've just had Chris Akabusi on the phone and it's confirmed.... I've also had Lesley Sloss on the phone and he's grounded for using rude words and he isn't allowed to hang around with me or any of the bigg’uns anymore because we're a bad influence.

Catch me and Slosstrudamus on his tour from October!! 

Prince Harry’s new squeeze Florence has announced to her friends that she loves him; luckily for Harry it's tennis season and "Love" means nothing, just get her slammed son!!

Dominique Straus Kahn could still enter the French presidential race; but lets face it he's never sought permission before entering anything.

A knife wielding burglar who broke into Paris Hilton's LA home has been jailed for 2 years; I think he chose the wrong weapon, if he'd waved a camcorder in her face rather than a knife I reckon he could have got her to do anything.

Daniel Sloss asks "Who the fuck is Chris Akibusi??"

More tax hikes and spending cuts saw Greece reach the final stage of their belt tightening bill. Creating the perfect setting for the movie sequel: My Little Slim Greek Deed-pole. Hard to believe a country with such a tight belt has its pants around it's ankles.

A woman who was filmed skydiving while claiming sickness benefits has been handed a suspended jail term; I feel like she's being singled out because I went to Disney Land a few years back and there were loads of kids there that were blatantly on benefits, no-one batted an eye-lid!

Teenage Olympic diving star Tom Daley once threatened to commit suicide during a training session. I wonder if he was going to throw himself of a bridge, it would be bit of a busman’s holiday.

A woman who strangled her disabled son to death with a belt has walked free; he must have been Greek!?

 Princess Diana would be 50 today; It's just a shame she got hit at 30......at 80!!

Well children we've had a fun week now go and smash up the weekend and we'll be back on Monday to pick up the pieces.

Daniel Sloss UK Tour: http://www.livenation.co.uk/artist/daniel-sloss-tickets
Daniel Sloss Fringe Show: http://www.assemblyfestival.com/webpages/whatson_moreinfobooknow.php?id=3:15&date=all&genre=Comedy&#title

My Fringe Show:  http://www.underbelly.co.uk/webpages/edinburgh/edinburgh-show.php?id=61:285