News for Dummies 10/6

Ex-Army officers will help train unemployed people find work; Surely it would make more sence for the Army to train Rick Waller not Dole wallers?? I guess since people on the rock and roll just play Call of Duty all day long so it will be a language they can understand.

Lacy, 18, from Bedford has some strong views on the above story; she also shaves her box. (you can see through her frenchies)

Imogen Thomas has been offered the lead role in a musical; since the super injunction has been lifted she can finally sing like a canary.

Over one million Brits per year drive whilst on drugs; Explaining why the USA produce better golfers.

A charity handed £15milly of UK taxpayers money is being used to fight the Burka-ban in France and many French living Muslims are moving from France to Britain; Plan B: If you're in France don't wear a Burka... stop being ridiculous!!

A contortionist in Spain hid in a suitcase and stole from other luggage on an Airport bus in Spain; Police bent over backwards to solve the case and they described the criminal as twisted. He's been sentenced to 2 years in lost property.

Domino's pizza had a boy in tears when they typed "Ginger Kid" on his receipt. Unless that was the name of the pizza because it was topped with carrot. Anyway he should think himself lucky they didn't spit on him.

Is that an individual pizza???

O2 network down in East London, oh for fuck sake that's where I'm headed right now, it's alright I'm an Ashington lad I'll take my carrier pigeon.

Killer heels and ill fitting shoes can cause Arthritis; that should explain my girlfriend's dancing. 

Bean Sprouts blamed for E-Coli outbreak; Is that cockney rhyming slang for Germans???

Soopa-Doopa!!