ASOS reveals it's on track for one billion pounds worth of sales by 2015; Derren Brown claimed the brainwash involved to make people think it was a good idea to wear elasticated ankles on jeans with Espadrille shoes is nothing short of supernatural.
The cucumbers on my Farmville have got Norton anti-virus working overtime.
Four in five knife offenders escape jail; but to be fair the offence was only to scrape the crumbs back into the tub after buttering toast.
You can taste the world’s most expensive Kebab for £750, Prince William begs to differ saying the royal wedding cost a lot more than that.
German car sales have slumped.
Urgent changes are needed in the fishing quotas system to protect genuine fishermen and stop "slipper skippers" selling them on as a commodity WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!!????
REALLY WHAT THE FUCK….. THIS IS WHAT I’M WORKING WITH!!!! I’ve stopped shouting now.
Wayne Rooney’s prostitute “Jenny Thompson was arrested in a drugs raid; Wayne said: “Give it up lad, the wars over!”
Karen Leigh want's me to change my font, how does this suit your needs you gimp!! P.S. The fact Tom text you saying I wants a hug xxx means hes more your gay best mate than your boyfriend.