News for Dummies 9/6

It is revealed Ryan Giggs' sister-in-law has slept with five football players including Dwight Yorke; But she said for some reason Dwight would wear 3 condoms, pull out, then force feed her dozens of birth control pills.

Libyan leader Colonel Gaddafi was accused of ordering mass rapes and supplying his troops with Viagra; Shit! That wasn't an option on Command and Conquer last time I played it.

The boss of a salon that offers fake tans to toddlers is being accused for the sexualisation of children; I mean is she stupid, peado's never target pastey kids.

today’s blog is a bit dark isn't it?????

A man killed his flat-mate with a hammer because he was too scared to ask him to move out; Ironically he is out of the frying pan and into the fire because he's stuck with his new cell-mate for the next 25 years.

Doncaster Rovers mascot "Donny the dog" has been sacked for taking off her outfit and appearing in a lingerie photo shoot; turns out she had nice puppies, I'd throw her a bone!! naaah meeeaaann!!!

Hose pipe ban to be brought in within 2 weeks..... Just so long as I'm not banned from piping hoe's when I go to the dam in 2 weeks!!! NAAAAHH MEEEEAAANNN!!

Cows are producing human breast milk after being genetically modified by scientists; pheww it's in China but I'll be right back I've just got to get some kitchen roll as I spat my weetabix out all over my laptop.

semi-on skimmed (nah mean)

Stroke victims who keep fit by swimming are expected to live 40% longer. They are also expected to swim around in circles.

Katy Perry's over eager dancing resulted in her flashing her BOOBIES on the shoot of her new video; I'll be right back I've just got to get some kitchen roll as I spat my porridge out all over my laptop. . . . NAAAAAAHHHH MEEEEEEAAANNNN!!

It started out dark but it always ends up blue!! Thanks for reading and spread the word.