Wednesday, 4 May 2011

News for Dummies 4/5

It is "World Asthma Day" today! So we'll start the day with a "breath taking" performance from this band...

Since I have been travelling all morning I have based most of todays blog on news stories in The Sun

Rhian, 24 Manchester has some interesting views on politics but I question her judgement due to the lousy tattoo of a star above her minge.

Obama was asked how after all of these years they finally found Bin Laden, Allegedly shutting down the PlayStation network was key to getting productivity out of anyone and it won't be back online until Maddy shows up.

Researchers’ have discovered an ingredient in ecstasy pills that cause liver damage, and one researcher even pulled his hamstring for dancing too fast.

A Police officer is charged with killing a tramp at a protest, there is now doubt weather the man was protesting or simply asking for change.

Loads of veg is half price at Tesco today which is handy if you like soup.

An NHS nurse has been engaging in prostitution while claiming sick leave. This explains why brothels are dirty and have a shortage of beds. As soon as my agent gets me some TV work I'm going private.

A teenage yob dubbed "Satan child" is given acupuncture to kerb his bad behaviour. Maybe this is a subliminal message to repeatedly tell him he's a little prick.

Winnalot Casseroles are 2 for £5 at Morrison’s, which is handy if you prefer dog food to soup.

Cardiff City's Kevin McNoughton yesterday took Richard Keys' and Andy Gray's sexism scandal to new heights after bundling lineswoman "what's-her-face" to the ground without apology during the match. Ex Pundit and known racist Ron Atkinson allegedly showed his disgust by claiming "All officials, male or female, should be treat with equal respect. Apart from Uriah Rennie!"

The Wallaw cinema in Blyth is going to become a Weatherspoons, girls who were teenagers in the 90's will be turning up for a nostalgic fingering!

See Y'all gypo's tomorrow!!!
In the stat's centre on my dashboard of this blog I found out some-one discovered this blog by googling "Royal wedding eat shit and die" this is Brilliant! 

I also have 1 reader from Egypt . "مرحبا بكم في بلدي لأخبار الصفحة الدمى ، شكرا لكم على القراءة. أود ابى الهول الخاص"

And thank you for everyone who has reposted on Fuck book and re-twatted on tweeter!

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