Monday, 16 May 2011

News for Dummies 16/5

The Lying Down Game - Fun but Deadly!!

A game created by my good friend Craig Adam has made international news as an Australian man fell to his death playing “The Lying Down Game” on a 7th floor balcony. There is blood on Craigs hands and I hope he can sleep at night; Craig started the facebook group back in 2009 and although I am listed as an officer all fatalities are on the conscience of Mr Adam (Murderer)

Outrage as Newcastle United striker Nile Ranger is photographed posing with a gun; But its O.K. he doesn’t know how to shoot, he probably even had trouble getting it in the box.

SEAL-Mania hits the USA after the elite team assassinated that tall bloke, Americans are rushing out to buy T-Shirts with slogans on and memoirs. Some even turned up at sea world with a bucket of fish.

For fuck sake everyone is killing each other, a Massacre in Guatemala, bomb blast in Iraq, Attacks in Egypt, Something is happening in Syria but I never click the news link. Why can’t they all just hold hands and sing Kum-ba-Yah for crying out loud. They ought to be bloody ashamed of themselves. F-ing Ninkumpoops!!

Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibriham is facing trial for buggering another bloke (that’s naughty there); but when our opposition leader bums the actual prime-minister they call it a coalition.

Stephen Hawking has dismissed heaven and the afterlife as a 'fairy story’ I doubt the stairway to heaven was a very promising thought for him anyway!

UK Bosses ban facebook at work according to everyone’s statuses!

Lady Gaga breaks 10 million twitter followers; Chuck Norris is the only other person to have had this many followers but he lost their tail.

Kai Humphries just made up his own Chuck Norris joke

Blue came 11th in the Eurovision song contest but it wasn’t all bad for Anthony Costa, because he had so few points that evening he could treat himself to a kebab and a Pint of Larger and still be under his weight-watchers daily limit.

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1 comment:

  1. The cold blooded killer, Craig Adam, from this blog features in Perrdcast #1 posted on 16th May