Florists claim this is great for business as people don't decorate lampposts in areas where people die of aids.
It is announced that having 5 cups of coffee per day reduces breast cancer risk. Is this a long handed way of saying "Sleep causes cancer"?
Vicky Collins from Littlehampton, West-Sussex has married her boyfriends dad. Her ex boyfriend Sean should get his own back and complicate matters by marrying Vicky's mam. This would then make his dad his son in law and Sean would become his own granddad.....
EXCLUSIVE TO NEWS FOR DUMMIES:
Despite the Super Injunctions keeping it from the media the following accusations were made on facebook about my friends this morning:
- "Peter Tate once gave Annie Lennox a candlelit sponge bath in return for a grilled cheese sandwich"
- "Drew Tinsley loves to put his sisters dirty knickers on his head, inhale deeply and have a finger in his arse whilst wanking and when he comes he shout EA SPORTS ITS IN THE GAME"
- "Liam Rogerson got his hair cut at Toni and Guy"
- "Al Dawes bit the head off a rabbit"
- "Peter Tate was once convicted for stalking Roy Castle and blowing cigerette smoke over him as he slept"
- Ross Peak once cut of both his feet with a rusty bow saw, the ran across two fields of salt and vinegar crisps, just to smell the exhaust fumes of the van taking Peter Tate's Sisters dirty knickers to the laundrette.