Wednesday, 25 May 2011

News For Dummies 25/5

Mum of 2 Clare Scott has a rare disorder that causes her to fall asleep every time she laughs. At first she thought she was allergic to Penguin biscuits. The longest she has ever stayed awake at any one time is during a Jim Davison gig.

1 in 4 expectant father’s experience morning sickness, food craving and pains. (man the fuck up fella’s) On the flipside do 1 in 4 expectant mothers get in as many Xbox hours as they can before there life is ruined and hint at oral sex on a daily basis??  

A New Zealand man fell between the cab and the trailer of his truck, breaking the air hose which pierced his buttock and began pumping air into his body, which expanded dramatically to 100 psi. He survived and although he is not in a wheelchair his family have to pull him around on a piece of string. He feels like he’s let himself down.

Air Hostesses in China are being taught Kung-Fu to combat hostile passengers. They are also being thought Ventriloquism (actual word) so they can poorly lip sync a dubbed over English accent as they threaten them with violence.
Barrack Obama and David Cameron hold Number 10 talks; and agree Teddy Sherringham was their favourite.
Obama met Jedward and gave their hair the seal of approval, however we’d all been hoping he’d give his seals approval to scalp them!
Bruce Forsyth reveals he punched some-one for call him gay. Many male celebrities have also fisted a man for the same reason.
The first episode of Geordie Shore aired last night; Somebody tell me did they all catch Aids? Because I am only going to tune into the rest of the series if I get to watch them slowly die!!

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