Osama's son, Hamza Bin-Laden (dubbed "The Crown Prince of Terror") is on the run and vows to take revenge for his fathers death. I just know that similar spin offs such as Saved by the bell - the new class, She-ra, Mrs Columbo and Gadget Boy never really took off. We can expect Hamza to knock on letter boxes then run away and to let down car tyres - Today we enter a new war: The War on Nuisance!
1 in 5 Workers in Rome are taking the day off and fleeing the city because a seismologist from 1915 predicted a huge earthquake on this day. The remaining 4 in 5 were declined their holidays because quarter past seven the evening before isn't enough notice to have a holiday granted.
A man committed suicide by hurling himself from 147th floor of the worlds tallest building in Dubai, he didn't break any records though, just his neck and the last millisecond of his ego as he reached his death on the 108th floor. Epic Fail
He ended it all because he was denied leave from work, cue thousands of deaths in Rome, if not from them falling off buildings then from buildings falling on them!
An actual headline on The Guardian website reads: "Disabled People March in London" Are they taking the piss out of me? Do they think I need help with my blog or something, I'm meant to be doing the fucking jokes....... oh my god it goes on to refer to the organizer of the event "The Chairman" why do I even bother!!
A Welsh girl, Erin Moran, was struck by lightning through her bedroom window; in a flash she went from counting Elephants to counting Sheep (a favorite pastime in Wales.) I remember the first time I got struck by lightning in my bedroom, my friend Callan Jones was Raiden on Mortal Combat and hit Quarter circle back+HighPunch.
A 12 year old boy from Cambridge wore a skirt for school, using this loophole in the rules as a protest that boys at the school can't wear shorts in the summer. What a puff!
Google have announced they will make household appliances like Dish Washers did you mean: Dick Wankers and Light bulbs did you mean: Large Boobs. They should concentrate more on making TV remotes, batteries and pens that work because I'm always searching my house for those things!!
Noel Gallagher and Gary Neville engaged in a twitter beef, it's like Pac and Biggie all over again! Except with 2 boring as fuck, ugly, monotone, pussies with expired careers that should it come to blows no-one would get hurt!
Celebrity Jungle's Aggro Santos has been held for "Hotel Rape" Shit, I rape hotels of their towels shampoo and cups all the time, I better lay low for a little while!!
Please feel free to share these blogs with you're friends and if you are my one reader from senegal you owe me $10'000 for that car you bought of me that I shipped out to you last month, the bankers draft bounced!!