Tuesday, 24 May 2011

News for Dummies 24/5

Lady Gaga admitted to having a three in a bed romp but refused to divulge the sexes of her fellow bedmates or herself. If it was 2 men I’m assuming one would have to poker face.

A 19yr old lad on holiday in Magaluf survived a 90 foot fall from a 7th floor balcony by landing on a sun lounger; The staff quickly hurried over to where he lay injured to charge him 3 euro’s for use of the lounger.

A homeless Labrador found malnourished in an abandoned pub has went on to be a top Police dog. Whereas the Andrex Puppy is now a heroin addict and has caught ringworm off a dirty bitch. It’s not all about the start you get in life.

Britney Spears and Rhianna share a kiss half naked at the US Billboard Awards. 2 minutes…….

                                                                                    ……O.K. I’m back.

I watched Tango and Cash last night and when Kurt Russel sneaks out of the strip club in womans clothes it begged the question. Why was there a pair of size 10 High Heels in the dressing room??

I was worried about the ash cloud because I’m supposed to be on a plane this time tomorrow. But I don’t think the eruption will stop me taking quarter of an inch off my bathroom door.

Dangerous “Planking” (The Lying Down Game) photo’s have been making the news again. Here is my contribution:

Traffic Jams send men’s stress levels seven times higher than women’s; This is largely because most of those women aren’t stuck in the car for hours with their wife!

A Fearsom Leech with huge teeth has made the top 10 new species list. This leech was found in Peru and has been named:  “Camilus-Parkus-Bowlsus”

.....Thanks for reading mo'fo's. Take it easy!!

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