Monday, 2 May 2011

News for Dummies 2/5

Finish Him! Up+C, Down+C, Left+C, Right+C, Quarter circle anti clockwise, A+B together.......

We have finally defeated the end of level boss Osama Bin Laden. I'm surprised they decided to kill him on a bank holiday Monday though, They will have to pay the Navy Seals double time and a day off in lieu. Laughing in the face of the economic climate.

As the world celebrates his death, the overlord of evil he has just materialized into terrorist heaven where he is working his way through 72 virgins like an Afghan Snoop Dogg.

Instead of putting his head on a stake outside of the Whitehouse America have decided to take the moral high ground by burying him at sea... in other news they have carpet bombed Gadaffi's grandchildren, the poor cunts were just tucking into there ready-brek!

Is it safe to say now we have cut the head off the Serpent terror will be no more?? Can we all stop living in fear?? ...... Does this finally mean they will let me on an aeroplane with shampoo???


Blood of the late Pope, John Paul II will be exhibited as a holy relic, rumour has it if this is combined with a lock of Michael Jacksons hair and Gary Glitters tears a super peadofile* will emerge from the belly of hell.

*I'm not sure if peadofile is the correct spelling but I use google as my spell check and you can get to fuck if you think I'm googling that!

Tommy Cooper is dead!

Mariah Carey has gave birth to twins. Has anyone noticed how far apart Mariah’s tits are? Due to laws in different states she can breast feed one in public but the other will have to make do with the bottle.

Our Henry has died, but it's O.K. I've got some Argos vouchers left from Christmas I'll probably get myself a Dyson

ANDREW DYER still hasn't changed his relationship status on facebook (see news for dummies 29/4) could everyone please text him with abuse on this matter 07809410123

R.I.P Henry Cooper let's not let Osama's death over shadow the death of a true legend. Our boy knocked down Mohamed Ali with the good old 'Enry 'Ammer. Let’s try not to mention this only made Ali angry and go on to win, but not many can say they shook him!

Over and Out!

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